Family - Jen Anne Becker

How Do You Know

Everything in life is a choice.

But how do you decide? How do you know which option to take? Should you base your choice on how it will affect you? Or should you consider how it will affect the people closest to you? Should you decide based on its level of difficulty or ease? Maybe you make a list of pros and cons to help you decide.

Rote Memory

I wrote out his birthdate on a document I was dating at work this morning. 4-29-84. I almost didn’t even realize the error. It was so instinctive when writing down 4 dash 2 9 for the dash 84 to flow from the pen. I haven’t even put those numbers to paper in 25 years or more. Why now?

The Degrees of "No!" (Part 3)

To relearn parenting strategies means to act when you notice that your young child feels uncomfortable when being hugged or touched or tickled by another person – even when that person is family.

The Degrees of "No!" (Part 2)

As parents, we want children to show respect to their elders while allowing them the right to refuse physical affection if it makes them uncomfortable.

The Degrees of "No!" (Part 1)

As I heard those words spill from my lips, my mind stalled, and I wanted to quickly delete those words before they could reach his ears. All I could think was, if I could have been allowed to use the word “no” to trusted adults...how might my life have been different?

Unredeemable?

WHY? Why can’t I do the “right” things that I know would be better for me? I asked her this very question, “why?”, but she had no answer. She simply agreed that change is hard.

500 Words • 01/20/2022

When too busy is TOO BUSY

...the worst part about the whole thing was that I barely noticed the holiday season had passed. I was just too busy.

Watchin' Around the Clock

I’m not opposed to having or watching television in general. I’m simply annoyed by my seeming-addiction to always have the glowing tube on when I’m at home. Am I alone here?

Should We Have Known?

Shouldn’t my “nervous stomach” diagnosis have been a red flag that something was affecting my emotional well-being – something unspeakable that nobody else knew about?

Broken Steps

He never knew that I was the one to talk his mom into attending his 15th birthday party. I wanted to surprise Chris with a traditional Korean celebration, to reenact his first birthday party that I’d seen pictures of in an old photo album

To Be Honest

I argue with myself constantly about what I need to do or what I want to do and why I should do “stuff,” trying to figure out why my body and mind won’t agree.

Hindsight of a Mother's Love

Hindsight: the recognition of the possibilities or realities of a situation, but only after its occurrence has passed. It is only after raising my children and having them begin families of their own that I am able to picture my relationship with my own mother more clearly.

What is your biggest concern?

My biggest concern, the one truth that I couldn’t allow passed the lump in my throat when asked by the hospice staff during each visit “What is your biggest concern right now” was...

500 Words • 05/10/2020

Happy Mother's Day

The first Mother’s Day after I had my daughter was very special because my mom, who’d been babysitting her while I worked during the week, made sure it would be a special day.

500 Words • 05/08/2020

Strength in Crumbles

How do I find the words to write about a topic that I never thought I’d ever have to think about? My beautiful niece is 22 years old, married, with an amazing 9-month-old baby girl – and she has cancer.

500 Words • 05/02/2020

Cookie Monster Face

You know how when you feed a baby, you kind of mouth the eating motions with the baby? Open wide you say while steering a spoonful of strained peas toward the reluctant baby’s mouth. You open your mouth wide to mimic how you want him to receive this delectable bite. Nom nom nom you might say while pantomiming the Cookie Monster’s constantly open mouth

500 Words • 04/08/2020

Reflections

Today marks one month before the last scheduled day of classes that will complete the requirements for my bachelor’s degree. Reflection, I suppose, is a part of the process in preparation for the next steps toward my future. It feels weird to say that at this stage in my life. I’m almost 50 years old.

500 Words • 04/01/2020

From a Distance

This is Henry, my grandbaby. He’s seven-months-old and the happiest baby I’ve ever known. I’ve always heard how great it is to be a grandma, but never really grasped that concept until the first time I saw this baby’s smile.

500 Words • 03/27/2020

Holding onto Hope

Shelter-in-place. Social distancing. Coping with this new – at least for the time-being – normal has not been easy. It is not easy. My husband and I made the decision yesterday to ask my daughter and her family not to come over for a couple of weeks. This broke my heart. It’s the last thing I wanted to do.